Demystifying Nair Sambandham unions

The Nair community of Kerala is historically renowned for its distinctive matrilineal tradition, where lineage and property descended through the female line, and for the practice of Sambandham unions, often hypergamous unions with Brahmins. The Nambudiri Brahmins, in particular, were revered for their profound piety and strict adherence to Vedic rituals, meticulously preserving ancient traditions through generations. Their intellectual contributions were equally remarkable, notably the development of the sophisticated Kerala School of Astronomy and Mathematics. Apart from Nambudiris, Nair women in certain regions also entered sambandham unions with Tamil and Tulu Brahmins. 

Regrettably, these unique socio-cultural practices such as Sambandham have, for long, been subjected to misinterpretation by various authors who have baselessly and simplistically accused Brahmin men and Nair women of promiscuity. Such accusations are not only unfounded but also overlook the nuanced familial structures that existed within these communities, and indeed, the deep commitment to marital well-being evidenced by practices like the Thiruvathira Vrata observed by Nair women for the prosperity of their husbands, signifying their role as devoted wives. Far from being peripheral figures, husbands in Sambandham unions also often played significant roles, providing guidance, education, and support within these ostensibly matrifocal households.

Enduring Paternal Influence: Illustrative Examples

Illustrative examples abound from the lives of prominent Nair personalities, underscoring the enduring paternal influence:

  • The very household of Vengayil Kunjiraman Nayanar, a celebrated Malayalam author, was originally built by a Brahmin for his Nair wife [1], demonstrating an enduring paternal connection to the domestic sphere.

  • Similarly, Azhakathu Padmanabha Kurup, another doyen of Malayalam literature, received his early education in Hindi and Sanskrit from his Brahmin father [2].

  • Pandit Gopalan Nair, who later became a revered Yogic teacher, had a Brahmin father and even gained the blessings of the Sringeri Shankaracharya to author a Brahmasutra Bhashya, highlighting a deep spiritual and intellectual lineage [3].

  • Indian nationalist and freedom fighter Ayyappan Pillai Madhavan Nair, famously known as 'Nair-san of Japan,' cherished a close bond with his Brahmin father during his childhood [4].

  • The eminent diplomat and historian Sardar K M Panicker fondly recalls his Brahmin father in his autobiography, emphasizing the close and affectionate relations he maintained with his children [5], reinforcing the multifaceted contributions fathers made within these unique family structures, debunking the myth of their alleged irrelevance.

  • Indian nationalist writer Swadeshabhimani Ramakrishna Pillai grew up under the care of his Brahmin father in his maternal household as mentioned in his autobiography [6].


Further reinforcing this, Nambudiri author Devaki Nilayamgode, in her writings, sheds light on the educational commitment of Nambudiri fathers even towards their Nair girl children born of Nair wives, explicitly mentioning her cousins, Subhadra and Bharathi, who received significant tutelage in Sanskrit from their Nambudiri father [7]. This highlights an often-overlooked aspect of paternal responsibility – the intellectual nurturing of their daughters within these cross-caste unions. The Brahmin husbands of the Nair wives often stayed in a separate space called Thekkathu or Madom within the Nair household complex, taking care of the progeny.

Property, Spirituality, and Royal Connections

Moreover, the enduring connection of Brahmin fathers to their Nair progeny is evident in the very fabric of property and spiritual inheritance:

  • The prominent Chalayil Nair household in Tripunithura, capital of the erstwhile kingdom of Kochi, for instance, originally began as a Nambudiri household [8]. When the last Nambudiri male heir faced childlessness from his own community, he demonstrably passed on the property to his Nair children, cementing a clear and recognized line of paternal responsibility and inheritance, even across the conventional strictures of caste.

  • Similarly, the Munjanattu Nair family, an important aristocratic Nair family in the erstwhile kingdom of Thekkumkur, inherited their revered Upasana Murtis (family deities for worship) directly from their Brahmin fathers [9], signifying not just a material but a profound spiritual legacy that transcended traditional boundaries and underscored the deep paternal bond.

Beyond these familial examples, it is crucial to recognize that Nair women were also frequently taken as consorts by the ruling kings across Kerala's kingdoms. Far from being relegated to a dishonorable status, these women and their children were accorded significant respect and honor by the royalties themselves, integrating them into the highest echelons of society. Testament to their esteemed position, Nair women who were royal consorts held specific honorific titles depending on the region:

  • In Malabar, they were known as Kettilamma.

  • In Kochi, they held the title of Netyaramma.

  • In Travancore, they were referred to as Panapillai Amma.

The suffix 'Amma' itself, referring to Mother, an honorific title widely used among Nairs, further underscores the dignified and respected status of these women and their lineage within the socio-political landscape of Kerala. These unions, far from being casual liaisons, were formal and recognized arrangements that contributed to the prestige and continuity of both the royal houses and the prominent Nair families.

Paternal Bonds within the Nair Community and Internal Complexities

Crucially, the significance of paternal bonds was not limited to hypergamous unions with Brahmins or kings; deep father-son relationships were equally vital within the Nair community itself.

  • The legendary Vadakkan Pattukal (Northern Ballads), rich with tales of Malabar's valiant warriors, vividly recount the profound affection of Thacholi Othena Kurup for his son, Ambadi, highlighting a cherished paternal love that was central to their lives [10].

  • Similarly, a popular ballad concerning the historic Mamankam festival immortalizes the bond between Kandar Menon, a Nair warrior from the Valluvanad kingdom, and his son, Itthappu, who bravely joined his father in battle against the Zamorins of Calicut, illustrating shared heroism and an unbreakable paternal connection [11].

However, the very strength of these paternal affections, as observed by the renowned Malayalam satirist Kunchan Nambiar, sometimes created internal tensions within the matrilineal framework. Nambiar humorously but pointedly remarked on how Nair fathers would often spend lavishly on their own wives and children, driven by natural parental love [12]. This generosity, while indicative of their deep care, often resulted in domestic quarrels because, under the strictures of matrilineal inheritance, the true heirs to a man's ancestral property were his sister's children, not his own. This internal conflict, documented by Nambiar, further underscores the active and impactful role of fathers in the financial and emotional lives of their immediate families, even as it highlights the complexities inherent in balancing personal affections with established socio-legal structures.

Reframing the Narrative: Beyond Misconceptions

This accumulated evidence calls for a critical re-evaluation of historical portrayals that have, for too long, perpetuated a skewed and simplistic understanding of Nair familial structures. The tendency to reduce complex socio-cultural practices like Sambandham to mere sexual liaisons or concubinage not only does a disservice to the historical truth but also demeans the agency and dignity of Nair women and their families. By focusing solely on the perceived "absence" or "irrelevance" of a conventionally defined paternal role, previous analyses have overlooked the intricate web of relationships and responsibilities that truly characterized these households.

In conclusion, a significant source of misunderstanding surrounding Nair unions, particularly by various Indian and foreign authors, stemmed from the freedom granted to both Nair women and men to dissolve their marital unions at will. This autonomy was often misconstrued as evidence of fleeting or "temporary" partnerships, feeding into baseless accusations of promiscuity. However, as the examples presented illustrate, many Sambandham unions were remarkably stable and enduring, with divorce remaining a choice rather than an inherent characteristic of the relationship. The freedom to exit an unsatisfactory union, far from indicating moral laxity, spoke to an empowered social structure where individual well-being was considered.

Furthermore, the accusations of polyandry, largely stemming from foreign accounts, appear to be gross oversimplifications or confined to specific, limited localities, if they existed at all. Even within such rare instances, the paternity of children remained a crucial concern, with societal mechanisms in place to acknowledge and uphold paternal lineage and responsibilities. Therefore, to shame the Nair community, and by extension, the Nambudiri Brahmins involved in these hypergamous alliances, for promiscuity is not only historically inaccurate but also an imposition of anachronistic moral judgments on a distinct cultural system. Even if matrilineal customs might appear atypical from a contemporary societal outlook, their internal logic and stability were undeniable.

Crucially, the impetus for reform within these unique socio-cultural customs emerged organically from within the communities themselves, driven by evolving social realities and progressive thought. Visionary Nair leaders, most notably Mannathu Padmanabha Pillai, played a pivotal role in initiating changes within the Nair community's matrilineal practices. What is particularly noteworthy is the spirit of inter-community cooperation that characterized this era of reform. Mannathu Padmanabhan actively collaborated with the progressive Nambudiri youth, fostering a shared momentum for change that extended to reforms within the Nambudiri community as well. The deep appreciation for this joint effort is evident in the gratitude expressed by eminent Nambudiri author Lalithambika Antharjanam towards Mannathu Padmanabhan [13]. Further testament to this collaborative spirit, the Yogakshema Sabha, a prominent Nambudiri organization, publicly celebrated Mannathu Padmanabhan's tireless efforts by felicitating him on his birthday [14]. This historical collaboration underscores that both the Nair and Brahmin communities, recognizing the imperative to adapt to changing times, consciously worked together to transition from established customs, embodying a shared commitment to social evolution and mutual respect.

References


[1] Kesari Vengayil Kunjiraman Nayanar Ezhuthiya Prabandhangalum Kathakalum Mattum

[2] Azhakathu Padmanabhakurup by Cheravalli Shashi

[3] Pandit P Gopalan Nair by P. Rajagopalan

[4] An Indian Freedom Fighter in Japan Memoirs of A M Nair

[5] KM Panikkar - An Autobiography translated from Malayalam by K Krishnamurthy

[6] Vyazhavatta Smaranakal by B Kalyani Amma

[7] Antharjanam - Memoirs of a Nambudiri Woman by Devaki Nilayamgode

[8] Nambudiri Sarvaswam Vol 12 by Panikkath Appu Namboothiri

[9] Thekkumkoor Charithravum puravruthavum by N E Kesavan Namboothiri

[10] Vadakkan Pattukal by MV Vishnu Namboothiri

[11] Mamankavum Chaverum by VV Haridas

[12] Kunchan Nambiar Vaakkum Samoohavum by KN Ganesh

[13] Cast Me Out If You Will by Lalithambika Antharjanam

[14] Reminiscences of My Life by Mannathu Padmanabhan



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